well it's good to know that i still got game.
this past friday i actually hit on someone at a bar.. no rejection, and gave my phone number.
actually, he offered me his but i didn't have my cell on me.. but he did!
haven't heard from him yet. that part i don't anticipate so much.
i was just excited that i manage to lure someone in after a long year year of a fucking drout.
i still have it. he was cute and he lives in the city. physical therapist. works in a hospital. adorable.
at some point.. and i don't remember how i said this and why, but i mentioned something about taking him home and putting him under my bed. he came back with something smart and sassy. i forget.
so i said, "alright.. how about my closet? i'll let you wear my slippers!"
i was told i was a silly girl.
yep.
...........................
saturday i kerry invited me last minute to the democratic ball.
not in the mood for kerry and friends, but a fun reason to dress up.
when pags told me about other plans, i was perturbed because i couldn't back out of the ball.
i shoud check my email more often.
i would have much rather been in the city than at the democratic ball.
not because of having to be glamorous for a few hours, but i had to deal the girls' flakiness.
erin is too involved with her boyfriend to make a decisions nowadays. actually couldn't really give a crap if it doesn't have to do with the boyfriend.
and kerry.. well kerry is kerry.
the night didn't start out so grand, because my strap on my dress broke as i got in the cab, but the cabbie felt bad for me and turned back around to the house so i can fix it.
i was late, they didn't have any rum, i forgot to put perfume and i lost the coat check ticket to my coat.
rough night, but at some point in the middle i calmed down, made a political joke, and started to enjoy myself.
to skip all the hoopla, i got agitated again, because my friends can not make up their minds. hence the decision i had made, that i'm having trouble sticking too.
basically they're getting on my nerves.
we go to a bar that some of us really didn't want to go, we're dressed up and we paid cover and some bitch steps on my newly painted red toes.
now i was going to bring clothes to change into, but i was convinced not to because "everyone" is going out in their nice duds.
at some point kerry says to me that we should go home and change.
WHAT?!
"into what?! i don't have any clothes here! i don't even have a bra on!"
kerry: "i'll lend you clothes.. you can wear like a really tight shirt.."
-i'm very thin and petite... i don't fit into everything..-
"kerry i don't even fit in any of your stuff... your tits are twice as big as mine!"
next thing i know everyone else starts to take off.
and erin and her man wants to go home.
we've only been there for literally 20 minutes.
i start getting pissed, kerry gets flaky, erin doesn't care really.
kerry says i want stay.
"it's not that i want to stay. what was the point of coming here and paying cover at the door only to stay for twenty minutes.."
erin: "to have a drink.."
"that's such a waste.. we've could have gone else where if it were a drink we were having!"
i was livid. walked away to get my coat called a cab and waited.
now my nicest clothes reek of bar funk. i could have avoided twenty minutes of that. and i wasted money i could have used.
kerry comes out tells me it's only $5.
well yeah it may have $5, but those of us that don't make much, 5 bucks can go a long way. not mention i'm the kind of gal that likes to get her money's worth.
then she tells me i'm cranky and goes to the car, as i wait for my cab.
from the window i see her and erin blabbing. i am dragged to the car, and erin's boyfriend takes me home. kerry tells me not to be sad, and i lash out that i am not.
those are the only words i really said in the car ride home.
said thanks and got out of the car.
i was home at 1am.
that's the earliest i think i ever been home since i was 17.
i was pissed.
............................
how the fuck do i go about avoiding my friends for a good while without them suspecting something?
there ARE other people i can hang out with. i actually prefer to hang out with. but we're so all over the place it's hard to come together.
...........................
i hope this guy gives a ring, then i could use seeing him as a excuse to not see those girls.
...........................
unnecessary drama.
not liking it.
10:26 p.m. - 2002-03-25
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