i haven't written because everything i would be writing about i want to stop thinking about, therefore no writing.. and i don't think about it.
it could also be the people i've been hanging out with smoke alot of gangj and i miraculously forget things.
i feel like slowly but surely taking the bull by the horns now. for some time and still every once in a while, i felt like i was losing control. all this bullshit was going on.
"this one said that. that one said this. and i heard that this and that happened."
i felt like my life's script was being written a little faster than i can keep up with. things were happening to me and i hadn't done anything to make them happen yet.
rumors. bad ass reputation. assholes. frenemies. all ensues.
i thought my weed days were over. i've surrounded myself with people who don't whisper behind my back. i never realized i was such a pothead, until i put my pot skills and knowledge to use.
not the kind of behavior i should be condoning with a brother in rehab.
.......................
mtv came to my local watering hole friday. some of us weren't to jazzed about it, especially my friends who were bartending or bouncing. they were filming some new reality series. something about the cover band. cameras everywhere. they wouldn't play music for a while. and they were charging a scamming $20 for a place i get shitfaced every weekend for FREE. i waited till mtv left. there were alot young kids and out-of-towners.
we can spot out-of-towners right away, because they either a) don't know where the bathrooms are, b)they ask what other bars are in the area.
OH! and my tranny experience!
i bumped into a transvestite or cross dresser (whatever) in the ladies room.
lily: oh! so can you can use the ladies room.
tranny: oh you know. (smiles, and high fives me)
apparently tranny thought i wouldn't be able to tell under that fine black wig and boxy frame there's a man. i wasn't THAT drunk. yet.
i head off and use the stall, to come out and still find him there.
tranny: hey do you know any other bars that are good tonight?
lily: [runs off the list of local bars and what the crowd is and what party they're having]
tranny: have people been talking about me the whole night?
lily: sweetie, i just got here.. (as i apply gloss)
tranny: how do i look? (holding his little pink plastic brush) are my boobs are ok? (straightening his boobs)
lily: (getting a good look head to toe) yeah.. your boobs look fine... but you might want to do something about that before you get out there.. (as i point to an AROUSED penis sticking up from his striped black and white skirt)
tranny: oh.. i've been having trouble with it all night..
i just smiled and made a point to get out of there as soon as possible.
some point after that i lost my purse for a brief moment. watched M. kick it to a girl really badly, while she literally yawned at his mild conversation. she wasn't that pretty anyway.. she looked a little dirty. like take a shower-dirty.
needless to say i had a pretty good night considering there was no sex involved. i was so rocked that i came home at 5am with a court jester hat and hiccups.
speaking of good times.. mr. needs has been MIA for 2 months now. i have a feeling he's laying low after the horrible things he said.
or he's getting layed by somebody else.
man, sex was so good between us.. it's a shame he had to be such an asshole.
i've never cried out so many filthy words like i did when i was with him.
i'm beginning to get that dry spell feeling.
moments of incredible horniness.. you can see it steaming out of my pores.
for the meantime it's a one hand cure, but i alteast there are no disappointments.
10:40 p.m. - 2003-06-29
Recent entries:
Thirsty Bitches and Desperate Housewives - 2019-07-15
brighter shade of green grows the grass - 2003-06-29
and more thoughts... - 2003-06-02
so many questions so little answers - 2003-05-27
i didn't need alcohol or drugs... - 2003-05-18
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