i haven't been able to write because our phone lines have been fucked up.
as everyone knows WTC 7 was the verizon building, and it um... collapsed. so we've had some sketchy phones.
i don't know what to even say. life obviously moves.
mediocrity seems be hanging around here alot. i haven't much to say, nor be excited for, even be sad. just a terrible drone.
i went to the city last week and i couldn't bring myself to go downtown town.
the city may seem back to its normal pace, but if you take a few moments to look up and glance at people's faces, you can see they're expressionless.
i went to my friend's new house last weekend. bon, pags, and a couple of my other friends rented out a nice big house to live in.
anyway, my friend who lost his brother was there visitng. and in his eyes you can see him trying really hard to hold it together. it broke my heart. because his brother is still missing.
.................
it's obvious we all have to move on. i know it's hard for people who are not from new york to truly understand what's going on.
some are upset or angry about the the whole thing, and some.. well.. can't make heads or tails of it.
i understand where they're coming from. i was totally detached when the oklahoma bombing occurred. hell, i wasn't there.
but this is my home. i've lived all my life, and so have my parents, and relatives, and so on. this my home. and someone went and fucked it all up. they bombed my backyard.
and my feelings are all scrambled.
i'm tired of watching the news, so i try and think of my halloween costume, but i can't.
everyone's flags are out and waving proud in the wind.
it's tough.
it's even tougher for those we know who've lost someone.
......................
i hate to keep agonizing over this, but it's everywhere i turn, and it's impossible to ignore.
......................
so in light of all this.... tomorrow if it's warm out, i will bathe my dog, and buy a pumpkin.
10:03 p.m. - 2001-10-02
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