my friend jared and i are discussing at the moment why we are so apathetic.
lately it's been some sort of consuming disease. i hate it.. he's beginning to like it.
the word of the day is 'apathetic'.
of all the words i've been using to describe this commiserating feeling, like callous, indifference... apathetic is the best one yet.
and i'm scared.
jared called it an "empty shell". where we often visit only the memories we have of what we once knew what it is like to feel that certain significance.
i need to light a match inside me.
i need spark.. otherwise i will be a living corpse.
and that is just ugly.
i need to grasp the feeling of love.. not remember what it was like.
i can't even fucking cry.
how disappointing...
......................................
i've added a site meter because i'm convinced no one reads my rants.. so i just wanted to know if it was true.. because obviously the guest book didn't work...
*sigh*
how disappointing..
p.s. i've now adopted tina too...
2:23am - 2001-01-25
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