because i have nothing better to do than think away at 4 o'clock in the fucking morning.
mike and i still keep talking. he calls now.. frequently. as so do i.
we have conversations about nothing and something that last hours. i'm thinking that's a good sign. when you don't mind spending countless minutes on the phone with another person, and all your doing is shootin' the shit.
he makes statements that have to do with future. which irks me. not so much in a bad way, but in more of a puzzled way. i don't know how to take it. he's hard to read at times. but i'm still thinking if he's making references to future, then that's a good sign too.
so... so far i've been getting the green light all the way.
this is taking too long...
but i'm thinking we're building friendship here. which i like anyway. i'm more of a friendship builder. (what the fuck is that?!) a little foundation...
i don't know what i'm talking about anymore..
i'm so in love with this boy, i don't even know what to do with myself, except masturbate... controls all the urges.. relieves stress...
ugh.. i want him sooooooo badly...
i need to stop this...
4:29 am - 2001-01-15
Recent entries:
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brighter shade of green grows the grass - 2003-06-29
and more thoughts... - 2003-06-02
so many questions so little answers - 2003-05-27
i didn't need alcohol or drugs... - 2003-05-18
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