i should write a new entry just because it was bullshit as bon blatantly put it.
i was so deliriously tired. it felt like i was drunk. i over stuffed myself with waaaay too much food.
now i'm sitting here waiting for bon to get back from dinner with her mom.
don't know if we're going out tonight. bon's staying with me for the weekend, and everyone wants to do something! oooh and god forbid should we disappoint someone. which i think we already have.
erin i think, pretty much is. all because we're going to danny's b-day party tomorrow. supposed to be a big deal. he's having it in a spacious loft, downtown manhattan. it was invite only. everyone's getting dressed up. and all this grand stuff. i have friends that will be dj-ing. big deal going on. they've even rented a freakin' bus so people don't drive. yeah.. big stuff.
and erin hates those guys anyway.. so there's no way getting around it. i mean, so she wasn't invited. so?? why do i feel guilty? it's a different group of friends.
these are people i've known since i was like 13.. danny i've known since i was like 9! we went to catholic school together. rode the same schhol bus too! (wow! that was deep memory there) thing is, in high school, it was all very clique-y.. we knew each other.. no one had problems.. we just had different friends, but if we got stuck with each, no one had any attitude with one another.. it was cool.
well apparently.. some people still hold high school grudges. bon was worried that she would regress into her high school insecurities, seeing people we hardly dealt with in years. i said to that," well i have gained alot of self esteem and confidence over the years to not get down on myself.. so if anyone decides to lower their level into HS stupidity, i can say 'go fuck yourself... there's aleast half a room here of people who think i'm lot cooler than you!'"
that's sounds corny, now that i read that over. but it's true. i couldn't give a rat's ass what anyone could think about me right now.
and besides.. theo will be trying to lure me.. to whatever. yeah.. wednesday night.. theo really "wanted my ass" as my friends so nicely put it. he told pags, "i wish i had a pocketbook, so i can fold her up and take her with me.." that was cute. so now that he knows i'm going to danny's, he's pretty much looking forward to seeing me. even though theo is cute, and everything... i do not want theo in that way. things would definitely get shady if something were to happen.
i'm on hiatus from the man department.
even though the fireman and i plans to hang out tuesday and mr. wonderful sent me an email of a picture of a kama sutra position. yeah...
i have to laugh at myself... i don't know what the fuck i'm doing.
1:13 am - 2000-11-25
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