i had so many things to share.... and right now my mind as been turned completely upside down.
friday mr.fireman called as i was getting ready to out to this club and dance all night long. because the last time i had done that was like 3 years ago.
so mr.fireman speaks... i'm not so freaked out anymore, he seemed sweet. he was calling from the station. all those firemen hanging out playing ping pong while they wait for a call. i wasn't expecting him to call at all.. so i was a little thrown off when i heard his voice and he said "it's richie.."
we made plans to have a date tuesday night. he had been trying to get through to me, but i wasn't getting messages.. and my phones keep fucking up too. our conversation had to end abruptly, because i had to catch a train to meet the girls in the city.
we went to exit. when i heard it was 18 and over.. i thought, great.. juvies.. but it was not so much so. it is insanely huge... balconies, rooms, and more rooms, and foam coming down from the incredibly tall ceiling of the main floor.. hot humid sweat rising everywhere from boys with no shirts. that's right everywhere i turned there where boys with no shirts. really nice looking boys with hard bodies and smooth hairless skin. dancing up a storm. it was a good time, worth $30. at 4:30am that club was still packed at still pumping.
we slept till 2 in the afternoon, and i treated myself to the new u2 cd. which i took to work with me today and played in the ceramic studio all day... i ended that day with bob marley..
last night erin and i decided to find a new place to hang out... new pub.. something new.. something some place new... and after driving for 2 hours and finding anything decent except seedy bars, we ended back at our usuals... and we spectated from the second floor of the inn, and laughed at all the silly people trying to keep rhythm with the band. and then erin realized she didn't have the car keys on her.
we walked to the car only to find them sitting on seat of the driver's side. oh what a night... we spent about 2 hours trying to find so so so many ways to get the keys, the lock open with wired hangers we asked from street residents who were coming home from the late night... we gave up at one point. then tracked down cops, but they don't carry slim jims anymore... and we just had to cab it home and blow $25.
i thought i had ended the weekend in peace with beef lo mein for dinner.. and then mr. wonderful pops up on my IM. man oh man.. am i in trouble... it went something like this;
do you want to come up and visit?
i can't really afford it right now... and i don't really have alot of time with school and work.
well i'll send you a ticket to come up and visit when you have a break
why?
i miss you
*sigh*
..................
it goes on with i still love yous and that sort of thing...
and well i don't trust him with my feelings... and he still wants me... and all this stuff that sounds great but that i'm afaid of now because i was hurt...
i was really hurt.
it hurt again tonight
that sharp pain in the middle of your chest.. and eyes stinging from trying to hold back tears...
and i don't know if i want this right now...
04:42:47 - 2000-11-13
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