wha wha what?!?!?! i'm staying home tonight?! i'm not out drinking myself comatose (that's never really happened.. ok maybe twice.. three times?).
thing is.. i'm too fucking tired. i'm at work today trying to teach a class.. and my eyelids are getting all heavy and i'm all woozy and shit. i thought i made up for that sleep today. i studied my ass off for that math midtern wednesday night.. i was up till 3am.. till the point i didn't even know what numbers were what. and i had to wake up 4 hours later. i made it! fifteen minutes late.. and i think i passed.
i was supposed to go out on that date with mr. fireman. but mr. fireman never called.. soooooo fuck 'im. i was looking forward to that day date.. never been on one of those. you can actually see a person with good lighting. and i was wearing a killer outfit because i had that broadway play i had to go see for my english class. kiss me kate. it was great, really funny.. love cole porter.
but anyway.. like all the other stupid silly boys i meet, who don't know what's good for them.. i scared him away.
i don't understand it. i'm thinking, i must be doing something wrong. did i say the wrong thing?? what am i doing that's not right? what's wrong?!?!? there's something wrong.
one of my guy friends said it was the deadly combination of good looks and intelligence, which was truly quite sweet and flattering, but what's so bad about that? i mean is it really that bad?? i'm getting the hint that guys like fat, ugly, stupid girls. does this mean, i should take less time in making myself all pretty. forget the hygiene, and all grooming habits. that's right i'll brush my teeth once a week. forget about doing my hair! oh and shaving! what's that?! and um... grow my tonails really long (ew.. i just grossed myself out).
really.. i'm not so bad... i make great company.. so what is it that i'm doing wrong? i'm going to give myself a fucking complex if keep pondering on this... ugh!
fuck you stupid stupid stupid boys..
you screw up everything...
hmph.. it's all mike's fault.. well partially..
05:09:58 - 2000-11-04
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