i find myself not knowing what to fucking write about. but there is.. in a way.
i feel so bored. my mother left to spain with her sister.. and she's spending a marvelous month there with relatives and travelling and all that good stuff. and the rest of us here are twiddling our thumbs because we don't know what to do with ourselves. my father does his therapy; gardening or washing the car. my brother takes advantage of going out, and i'm actually doing my homework.
school's alright.. even though i only go 3 days a week. but 2 of those days are fucking 12 hour days for me. and the damn commute. the god forsaken train. i hate it. i'm up at 7am.. and i don't even get home until 7:30pm. god damn. i said god damn!
i caught my math professor checking me out. he's, i think a temp. since our original professor got "really sick". so the new prof., chris rush.. nice looking guy. i can't seem to get him to look away.. and when he gives us work to do, he'll walk around, and he'll come by me and lean over me.. really fucking close, i can smell his cologne. hmmm... i'm not going there.
everything seems so routine. i go to school, i do work, i go to work, and i party. well the partying doesn't seem so routine when the weekend rolls around, but i need to find new places to imbibe.. all the bars already know who i am. i'm what they like to call a "regular". the only day i'm neither working or at school is saturday, and man, do i really really really appreciate that day.
now for the man situation.. well mike (this guy should be on billboards in times square modelling underwear) and i hung out alot.. but i haven't seen him since last saturday morning. heh..
i gave up calling him. and when i saw him at the bar, of course we got together. and we all walked out of the bar together. and we made breakfast and we played taboo, and he was sweet enough to take us (erin and i) home. and as erin goes inside i leaned over to kiss him and he says to me, "you should pack an overnight bag". i told him i had one.. inside. he seems to be really shy.. and i've pretty much grown out of that playing games shit, and just beating around the bush. i really can't tolerate that crap anymore. just lay it all out on the table.. all cards faced up. so i said to him, "why don't you invite me to stay over?.. do you want me to stay over? just ask me, and i might say yes..". so his response is "i did.. (he sort of did).. ok, would you like to stay over?".
and i ran out and got my bag.
i let this beautiful boy with the sweetest ass i ever seen in my life, that look like two freshly baked loaves of bread, take me.. spread my legs and taste me and welcomed him inside me.
and he gives good head...
he took me home the next morning.. and bought me breakfast. i felt really awkward facing his roommates in the morning. he says "you don't feel like being social".. umm.. not really.. especially since they fuck around with him about me...
when i saw him that night at the bar, he said to me "i'm sorry i didn't call you back, when i got in last night i thought it was kinda late to call back."
i never called him..
he says "i thought those guys were upto something, because when i came home they were sitting on the couch with big grins on their faces.."
so i went and asked his roomies, why they said i called.. one gave me the "i was at work".. which was a lie according to mike.. and dan, his other roomie, says to me "i just say what's on my mind".. my comeback to that was.. "so i'm on your mind?".. dan had nothing to say to that but a smile. so once again.. hmmmm...
and they tease him about me being young.. ok! because i'm only a year younger than these guys.. and my id is all fucked up because of my chalking days when i was under 21.. so they make fun... now that determines me to get a legit id. that's it.. it's a mission.
but anyway... when mike dropped me off home, he said he'd call.. because i gave him some beef in my drunken stupor the night before how i wasn't going to call anymore, because i didn't want to seem like a "stupid puppy".. and he giggled. but he hasn't rang.. and it's annoying, because i don't expect anything from him.. even if he's not interested, he could atleast say he's not interested and we could just be bar buddies. like i said i'm tired of bullshit.
yeah so when i went out this weekend, erin said that i'm not to go anywhere with mike since he didn't ring. so even though i looked really good with my funky skirt, because i learned that mike as a thing for legs... i was not to go home with anyone. heh.. i didn't.. and i didn't see mike.. but i did see pete.. briefly.. because i stayed away... but i danced with him a little and then walked away.. just to tease him for what he's missing out on... because i must be evil that way..
and well.. friday's seem to be the only day i really enjoy myself... and spend all the money i don't have on beers and shots. now that i think about it, it's really not that exciting.
by the way, i read julia's diary today to catch up.. she was nice enough to give me a plug (thank you).. so check her out: jewelia.diaryland.com
and she's not like felicity, i was just saying her diary is like my addiction to tv shows of that sort. it's pathetic, i know... but it's addictive!
23:16:47 - 2000-09-17
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