yesterday i went to register for my classes, and surprisingly, it was a piece of cake. no lines, no nasty people (well maybe one).. people that actually spoke english. and! i got the classes that i wanted. of course i didn't have to deal with financial aid, which is probably what made it really easy. dad offered to pay these two semesters. and it was ALOT of money for a partime schedule. and he was pissed. well he was a bitch that morning to begin with.
he offered me a ride to the train station. the jamaica station.. which would save me a whopping $5 on the train ride if i were to take from here. anyway, so he gets up at 10 to 9. tells me to wakey wakey, and ten mintues later he's dresses and says he's leaving. i told him he bettere not leave, he said he WOULD TAKE ME the night before! "i'm leaving you have 3 minutes." 3 minutes my ass.
20 minutes laters he's having a hissy, and he thinks i'm not ready, but i am... i yelled at him form the top of the staircase "if you couldn't take me, you should've told me last night!!". and with that he left like a dick, right out the door. so i took my train and didn't save $5. better off that way. i realized my relationship with my father hasn't gotten any better. and he still likes to undermind and underestimate my intelligence and myself. but he's obnoxious that way.. and i realize that you can never change people.
when i got home that afternoon, i told my mother how much tuition was, and she told me i better call my father and tell him.. i was hoping to just wait till he got home.
i called him up and told him tuition was $1600. and he goes on about how i'm going to have to give him $600. (i don't even have $600!!) i had to remind him how he initially offered to pay for school. and he hung up on me.
i started blubbering, and called my mother, who told me not to say a word later when he got home. she thinks i'm going to cause shit with my big mouth. fine...
i took a nap after that... thinking:
this is why i don't ask my fathr for any major favors
this is why i never ask my father for money
this is why i never count on my father for anything
this is why i refuse to work for my father
and that is why people have a hard time (or people in my family) understanding why i MUST be my OWN WOMAN. WITHOUT the dependence of someone else.
21:21:32 - 2000-08-17
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