i should stop hanging out with my ex-boyfriends.
i hung out with pete some time last week.
blah blah blah, he asked if he could kiss me.
of course i said no. i said it wouldn't be right.
i felt awkward. i felt him get a woody. and even though i was with him for 4 years, it made me kind of freak.
i was trying to keep everything has platonic as i possibly could.
he kind of couldn't.
i'm not interested anymore. i can't help that. i'm not even attracted to him.
..........................
we were outside of the house having a smoke, and i sat there on the stoop looking at him. trying to find again what i once saw attractive. i couldn't find anything.
because the vision of michael keeps interrupting.
...........................
ugh. i think about it. and it's pathetic.
i mean, most of my diary is about the stupid boy.
the whole thing irritates me.
...........................
last night in my drunken stupor has i dogged a slice of pizza at 4am, i said to bonnie.. "i hate to say it, but i miss mike.."
bon, "i hate to hear you say it.."
............................
ah.. lastnight was alright.
some ogre of a man started with me. everything was just too crowded, and everyone was obnoxious. i was ready to pop somebody in the head.
you just can't seem to go out locally on holidays, because all the assholes come out to play.
it's amazing how the island can hold so many sluts.
.............................
i woke up at 2pm today.
i haven't slept like that in a while.
now i'm hungry.
3:44 p.m. - 2001-09-03
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