i flipped out.
and it rarely happens, so when i do.. everyone knows it's serious.
.................................
it had came to a point where i had it. and it had to do with family. not parents, but relatives.
i don't know what's worse. but right now i couldn't give a rat's ass about it.
i'm just really fucking pissed.
estoy enojada.
...................................
i basically said everything that's been pissing me and my family off. except instead of owning up to the way my parents raised me, which is always stand up for yourself; my parents rather sit with their thumbs up their asses and let the rumors and the gossip spread.
i just let it all hang out:
i'm tired of people coming to stay at my house, and just expect that because there is a spare room with a bed, it's ok to.. um... move right in!
because my house just isn't a fucking holiday inn anymore, it's a permanent house guest that NEVER fucking leaves.
i'm tired of making sure of having to put my dinner aside or hiding it and make sure no one eats it, because everyone comes to my house and eats dinner and then takes the rest home for themselves, never really concerned if anyone that actually lives in my house ate anything.
i'm tired of people so full of themselves, that they think my family holds some sort of obligation to them.
i'm tired of everyone taking advantage of their privleges. abusing, rather.
there's not even that common curtesy of just asking anymore. and i find it to be a lack of respect and consideration. whether or not we're related. it's just common fucking curtesy.
but everyone in my family is such an asshole, that you couldn't knock the density out of them with a swift kick to the ass.
i'm just fed up.
and i'm just as fed up when everyone wants to make look like the "bad guy", because i tell it like it is, whether it sounds pretty or not.
..............................
i'm like the fucking black sheep with brass knuckles.
what's that about?
the stupid fuckers.
...................................
so after all said and done and hours of aggravation and a shattered bowl (that was me), my uncle and i spoke. i was generalizing, and he got offended. things i said were misdirected.. to a certain extent. but there's was no way in hell i was about to apologize, and made that clear to everyone.
i don't need to apologize to anyone.
one of my cousin finally got his head out of his ass, and apologized to me.
but the other one.. like i said a swift kick in the ass couldn't knock the density out of her.
.................................
whatever. i called my friend anthony, and bought a six pack and cigs.
drank until i could barely keep my eyes open.
he was the only person i knew that wasn't working late, or sleeping.. or just MIA.
we watched a reggae movie with gregory isaacson (i hope i got that right), and simpson reruns.
passed out.
didn't get home until 6am.
...................................
now no one is talking to me.
...................................
i'm going to the city today.
and i'm going to my favorite place of tranquility.
the met.
...................................
i shall relieve myself of all that is negative.
2:11 p.m. - 2001-08-24
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