just a few things that have to go through the thought process..
last night was the perfect night to share a walk with someone.
i mean, the weather was just amazing. it was the perfect night to just call up that someone, go for a walk, and decided to.. oh i don't know.. drive off to some where, take your clothes off, do cartwheels in the middle of the empty midnight streets. just something exciting.
it had that woodsy summer smell, and occasionally you get that lovely flower whiff from every other house you pass by.
it was just perfect.
not even a smoke could top it off.
i woke up at around midnight. i had fallen asleep when i came home from work, so i was still in my clothes. and my window was open.
i put my hand against the screen and i felt no cold air, so i put my flip flops on and went downstairs and snuck out the back door.
i stood in my backyard for about 5 minutes and decided to take a walk.
as i started walking, the flippy's felt a bit uncomfortable between my toes.. but i had to remind myself i lived in them all last summer.
i walked for about an hour. it just felt so right, so great, so untouchable.
when i got back to the house, i laid down on a lounge chair outside, and looked at the sky.
i could only smile to myself.
"wow. this is so perfect. not even the bugs are out yet."
then i heard something by my head. i quickly got up. looked around, and went back inside.
........................................
ok.. over the weekend.. i did something stalker-esque. i actually feel kind of guilty about it, but then again, maybe i shouldn't be. because the information i stumbled upon is either a hit or miss.
i kind of pulled, what partygirl from dland calls, a "connie".
yeah, i connied, but i think it might have been a good thing for me to know.
it had to do with mike. i found this in a college newsletter:
**** College of Technology
Freshman Michael ******* was arrested when a search turned up firearms and explosives in his dorm room. The search was prompted when campus police discovered an armed individual, who was a student at ****** University, leaving [Michael's] room.
(Source: The Chronicle [blah blah blah], 12/15/95)
i left out certain things. but it was all too coincidental. it was the school he went to. affliated to the university mentioned. he was a freshman then too. IT IS HIS NAME.
and i'm totally denying this. thinking to myself, "you know, there are alot of people out there with his name. but then again how many michael's were freshman at suchandsuch unversity, the same time he was.... noooooooooo... he wouldn't even harm a fly.... i didn't see anything incriminating at his place... this can't be... then again i don't know him very well.."
this has to be him.
otherwise, i really hope it's someone else.. or he left out some very big piece of detail about his life.
......................................
ok, here's another whammy:
mr. wonderful
remember him? he sent an email today. he's been MIA for how long????
he writes:
dear [lily],
how are ya? i know you told me not to talk to you again..but i just
thought
that i'd say hi. i was wondering how you were doing in school? howse
work
goin? is your bro still a turd? whats new? i also wanted to say how
sorry
i am for hurting you the way i did. it was totally unfair of me to
treat
you that way..and i apologize. i don't really expect a reply...so i
wish
you good luck and school and have a happy life.
[mr. wonderful]
do i reply???? what hell is going on here??? smack 'lily' in the face week??? hello?!?!
i'm at a loss here.
i don't have time to process all this. i can't. it's going to cause some sort of damage. i know it.
..........................................
and tomorrow i look forward to getting yelled at by my gynocologist for being a stupid little sexual nit.
............................................
ugh. why ME???
11:12 p.m. - 2001-04-23
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