ugh. sicker than a dog. i should be in bed right now. not fighting the wooziness.
i could cough up a long.
my sides hurt from coughing so much.
my sneezes are like a monsoon.
my nose is so stuffed up i can barely breathe.
my face hurts from all the congestion.
ugh.
ew.
and going out friday night probably didn't help.
yeah, let's back track.
friday:
um, thought i'd be alright to go out, because i stayed in thursday night to recuperate. went to local bar. i drank sodas all night.
ok, so i snuck one beer and a cig. but that's it! i swear! oh wait, and i think i did a shot too. but no more after that!
i got a headache at some point. not good. big warning sign. but my friends were all "woohoo! c'mon have a good time! dance! blah blah blah!".
i have to say though, i was looking pretty good for a sickie. the weather has been beautiful, and the nights have been warm, so i thought of taking advantage of it, and actually put on something nice. instead of the ol' jeans and fitted shirt ordeal.
wore; knee length black skirt with slit on side, olive sleeveless shirt, jean jacket, and black platform sandal like shoes. and hoop earrings! was the final touch to the outfit.
i think i had planned this out way in advance. i have a tendency to do that. scan my closet in my head, and plan out outfits. sick, eh?
anyway, before i get off tangent...
that evening at the bar was like a bad flashback.
nightmare. everywhere i turned was someone i didn't want to see.
remember mr. tee??? and his slimy friend?? he was there! and i made it like i didn't see him. actually like i didn't know who he was. he was staring at me dance. for a long time. real creepy. i kept telling my friends he was staring, and they'd look back and laugh.
oh! and then mike shows up with his friends!
it was like deja vu.
saw mike trying to make his way through the crowd and i looked at him. he had a look of surprise. and coldy said hello, and he squeezed my arm. whatever.
he kills me.
i see his friends amongst the crowd and they happily come up to me and say hello and kiss on the cheek. and i'm like what the hello is going on here?!
i think the evening would've turned into something dirty, but luckily it didn't. i stuck by my friends. and had a good time.
thank god i didn't have my glasses on. otherwise i probably would've seen more disasters.
...............................
what'd i say last time? i give mike 3 weeks, right?
it's like 4? i was off by one.
i called it though.
on the way out, i standing by the door waiting for my friend, and mike is about to walk out, and he just nods.
i said "you're not talking to me anymore?"
"well you weren't very responsive before.."
"can you blame me?"
"i'm an asshole..."
"it's too bad. i wish we could be friends, because i think you can be nice.."
"i'm an ASSHOLE.."
"you're right. you are an asshole. i take it back.."
"i was going to stop by your job last sunday. i was on the road, but noticed you were closed.."
"yeah i didn't work palm sunday.."
"you're not working easter?"
"hell no.."
"well i'll see you later... um, i'll talk to you later.."
"when pigs fly?" (i make my pig oink)
"no.." and he grins..
"next year?" i say enthused... "i know! next month!"
"i'll give you a call"
"right."
and out the door he went.
he's a fucking weirdo.
my friend and i caught up to him though. he was walking the direction of where we parked the car.
at some point someone mentioned something about getting ass. and he turns to me and says, "well you seemed to be having a good time.."
i whipped back, "those are my friends!!! we're just an affectionate bunch, in that platonic way."
then my friend in my defense starts telling some story of a guy who was wondering the same thing.
we all get in the car, and i tell my friend, mike lives on the corner. "literally on the corner, just like a hooker.." and i grinned. he tugs my arm. "you're a little slut.." i say. and he gives me this look with a smirk.
kiss cheek goodbye, gets out of the car.
i watch him stride to the steps.
i turn around.
"now what?"
my friend looks at me, and laughs.. she's on her cell. she was trying to get a PBA card from this cop she's seeing.
.......................................
now what?
we're back to square one?
i hope not.
because he's been in my head like gum in my hair.
and i've been trying really hard to shake him loose.
ugh. fuck him.
and this cold.
..........................
i'm losing my train of thought. i'm taking so much medicine that my mind is spaced out. i'm feeling incoherent. sorry if my entry is that way too.
i need to blow my nose.
12:11 a.m. - 2001-04-16
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