i didn't go to class today like an asshole.. i've missed about 2 weeks of class now. don't know why i'm being such a delinquent.
i went yesterday, but only for my drawing class, where we had a model come in. this bummy looking woman who needed serious grooming. a little waxing, shaving, tweezing. she was disgusting. it was worse than the women i see on the subway with facial hair. and she had a pouch for a belly. i showed my mother my drawings and she says "she's fat.. is that really her belly?... it's just like a kangaroo!"
thank god i missed last week. i heard a male model came in, who was extremely obese, and smelled bad. a girl in my class said to me "i think these people get off on doing this.. getting naked in front of people.. that fat guy was giving me the eye when i looked at him.."
she has a point, if you ever get talking to one of them, they're usually very eccentric, which adds to the whole mystery of their persona and why they like to get naked in front of numerous people. not to mentioned they get paid a shitload of money for it. i find them to be very chatty.. very dirty...
*sigh*
this whole missing out on classes is probably why i have huge knot in my stomach. that anxiety kicking in. especially there, at school. it was horrible the other day. i had to constantly take deep breaths. and the knitting (i knit on train ride home) wasn't helping.
i have to lie to everyone about it too. everyone ask me how school is, and i'm all somewhat cheery, "oh it's good.."
just good.
not great.
can't say bad.
but good can pass.
..........................................
my cousin asked if i'd like to volunteer for a couple of hours for meals on wheels on thanksgiving. i'd like to very much, but bon's coming home tomorrow.. and i'm expected to have a night out. only to be hurtin' on turkey day.
but i think i will volunteer. it makes me feel good. like i did something right for once.
i don't watch the parade on tv anymore.
and macy's didn't have snoopy outside their store when i walked by today. they had mickey mouse in some red band outfit.
so instead if sleeping in, i'll be feeding people.
i just have to call and convince bonnie now.
which is what i'm going to do at this very moment..
12:22 am - 2000-11-22
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