ok, i wish i could've wrote about this yesterday, but no time to squeeze. which i guess is bad thing.
first off, pete (bad alcoholic ex) gave me a ring yesterday, to see what's doin'. my lazy ass was still in bed, because i went to sleep really late. i guess he wanted to hang out. so we're yapping... and originally i was supposed to go to see their band play tomorrow night at the lion's den in the city. i did it as a favor/scheme for bonnie. see, bon's ex boyfriend (jay) happens to be the drummer of their bad. and this guy was her first high school sweetheart and all that junk. well she went away to school, and they're relationship fell apart, because she wanted to see other guys. well anyhoo, jay has now moved out of his house and lives with his girlfriend, and has this great paying job since we've last seen or heard of him. which was like 2 years ago or something. i gave bon the scoop, which i got from pete.. and i told her about the show, and well she wasn't too happy about it, but she wanted to see what his new girlfriend was like, so i said i'd try and scheme my way to go. well i had asked pete if it would be awkward if i went to see them play, and he said "oh no.. not at all..." and i threw in "well i haven't been to a show in a while, and i'd sure like to see you guys play.." line. so i thought i was going, until yesterday, to get back to the story... so we're yapping on the phone, and i was about to ask what time they were playing, and he says "well actually i don't think that would be a good idea if you went.." huh?!
he says "i don't want jay to see you and be reminded of bonnie, and make him really mad.. i know it sounds retarded, but i just don't want jay all upset at the show".. well of course i huffed and puffed. i was pretty perturbed about it, i said "so you're saying i'm a target for jay's emotions???" and he says "well yes and no.. " and of course i told him it was pretty stupid, and abruptly hung up the phone. 20 minutes later, jackass calls back. he apparently felt bad about it and agreed it was pretty stupid too, and says to go to the show. but i said i wouldn't. not after that ridiculous spectacle. and he insisted, said i'd think about it, and told me he was going to the beach, which he tried to convince me in going, i don't know why! because it's been pouring for the past week and a half now. so i gave myself a beauty day. but i guess he can't get enough of me, because he called back later, and he eventually stopped by, and we went to get a bite to eat. and we kicked it, and bullshitted. i asked him that day why was he so mean to me, and he couldn't understand it. so i told him of all the fucked up things that he said and done, and he said he couldn't really remember.. BECAUSE HE WAS PISSED DRUNK OFF HIS ASS. (i really know how to pick 'em, eh?) he made a slight remark about us having different sexual urges, because when he wanted to get all naughty and i didn't want to he'd get angry.. but thruth of the matter is, i wasn't attracted to pete anymore, and because when he wanted a blow job and i wouldn't give it to him, and he had a hissy, it's a big TURN OFF. not to mention he was limp most of the time because he was DRUNK. and he kept saying how men think about sex more than women. (he obviously has no clue) i tried making the point that women think about it just as much too, and he's also talking about like having sex 5x a week. that's when i made a reference about how i was very sexually active with mr. wonderful, and we did more than 5x a week at times. which quickly shut him up and i saw the wheels cranking in his head. most likely disturbed by the fact that some other guy got it more often, than he ever tried to. in which he responded "well that's your business.." HA HA!! i asked him once again if it was ok to go to the show, and he was hesitant answering me, so i said fuck it, i just won't go.
and with all that we talked that late afternoon, i came home only to realize that pete as not changed one bit, and probably never. he is so set in his ways, and narrow minded that there is no way to deter him or even make him acknowledge other aspects. we are so very different, that it is extremely easy to get in an argument. pete and i in arguments is like playing fire with fire. you might as well douse a rusted old car in gasoline and throw a lit match. and i realized that nothing he has intrigues me so much anymore, and his qualities are definitely NOT what i look for in a man. and i don't know why he's been calling me everyday... because i hung out with him today too, and bullshitted some more, and i don't know what he's looking for, but if it's for some good ol' time lovin' he better go look else where.
it died here...
06:15:20 - 2000-08-02
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