first and foremost i'd like to thank my dearest friend harrison for helping me out getting the diary looking pretty sharp. thank you thank you harrison!
i know i haven't written. that's because there was nothing to say. i kept thinking to myself, i should write an entry... about what though? nothing was on my mind. i was going out every day, working. same ol' shit.
i went out to dinner with the fireman and had a great time. i realized he's a great person to be friends with. if only i could manage a way to get around to that.
then the day after i spent the night with mike. cuddling and watching movies. we were dozing off every few minutes without a care in the world that there was a blizzard going on, until bonnie called at 5am wondering when i was coming home. and he, being the sweetest thing that he is, drove me home because we knew there was no way in hell a cab was coming to pick me up in that weather. if i stayed i would've been snowed in. that would've been great, if bon wasn't staying with me. we were so into each other that we didn't give a shit about what's going on.
i also spent new year's with him. i'm on a fucking roll. i just have to keep myself in check now. he invited me to his place and spend the new year with his buddies and him. i showed up after midnight with an overnight bag. we went out, drank, taught him how to dance. he met some of my friends that i bumped into. and then we passed out on his loveseat watching the telly. well i did, but i felt him running his fingers along the side of my face, shoulders, arms, hips, legs, right down to my toes, and up again, making sure to brush my hair away from face. sweet moment. and then he carried me to bed. and we slept...
it was eerie. we were so couply... so boyfriend and girlfriend. he made breakfast when we awoke. and then he seemed to have gotten.. i dunno.. he seemed tweeked. he had that look guys get when they seem to have found someone they really like and are freaked out by the whole idea of it. i just held back. let him be. he drove me home this late aftenoon.
i'm trying not to get too attached. i'm trying to keep that from happening too soon. i think i really like him. he makes me nervous.. and i told him that. i also said that i was smitten by him. big mistake? don't know yet. but for a whole week i had been thinking about telling him that. *sigh*
control
i will have control
i will say now that the ball is in his court.
*sigh*
12:05 am - 2001-01-02
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