i am so tired. so tired.
i'm becoming tired and very bored with alot of things. can't go into detail, because i don't know where to start. just like the rest of my life. i have thoughts and ideas and everything, but somehow i am not able to correlate.
i know last night i went off to halloween party dressed as the bloodied jacqueline kennedy. some people got the costume. some people are dumb as bricks and don't know their american history either. even with an obvious hint, such as; "my husband was assasinated in dallas, texas in 1963...". no clue. stupid stupid people.
the party was.. um.. not so grand. no one wanted to mingle. it all seemed very inclusive. and with that boredom sinking in, i drank giant cups of rum and cokes. but with the DJ picking up the pace, i started to get in a dancy mood. i really needed to get out of there, because i was not in my element. so nudged erin to hit the bars when we get home.
although we missed the costume contests, i saw alot of familiar faces at the bar when we got home. and not ones which needed avoidance, but after we hit the second bar, some guy hit on me with a really really pathetic pick up line.
"hi.. remember me? we met here over the summer.. remember?? you standing here and i was over there, and i saw you, so i walked over here, to talk to you now... remember me??"
um... NO.
he just wouldn't let up. he said i was intimidating. that's because i was giving him a hard time. i really wasn't feeling it. i wasn't feeling anything at all. i wanted to get home and get to sleep, so that i can manage to get up for work the next day.
erin was very much in need for a boy toy. so because of her i stuck around. with.. his name is rich, yeah.. and he gave the whole beautiful eyes and smile line. but he did know who i was dressed as on the first guess.
well litte background info on rich:
he's 31 (yeah.. i know..)
he works for FDNY (fireman, baby)
he's from brooklyn, recently moved back from cali after living there for 5 years
and we like the same music, and going to shows and such.
that's all i can think of right now.
he drove me home lastnight, because he wasn't drinking. this probably would've never happened if erin never said anything about walking me back. and to my dirty look, erin responds "i'm such a bitch, right?". (didn't this happen with the "keebler elf" over the summer??)
ok.. so the plan was to drive me home and get home and get to sleep, with knowledge of him wanting to maybe get my digits.. a kiss??
well he got the phone number, and a kiss.. after stroking my hair and finally pulling me towards him.
i forgot to mentioned that i had fibbed to him:
i told him i had a boyfriend.
and he still believes that.
because after a whole make-out session and stuff in the car, which during.. i tried to flea. but couldn't, because he was intent on satisfying me.
you know, i never thought i'd do something like this, i didn't think i could pull it off, but i FAKED IT.
yes, and he fell for it. and well that's when i tried to pull myself together and get out of the car, and he wanted me to stick around.. i was little um... unappeased.
i found rich to be a bit too intense for my liking.
for godsakes, he said i made him nervous, i heard the quivers in his exhales. it almost seemed like he hadn't touched a woman in many many many years. scary, no?
so now i have this imaginary boyfriend i cheated on, and with that he still wanted to see me, and he wouldn't take no for answer. so now i have a thursday daytime date. he thought it might carry over into the night, but i just remembered today that i have a play to go to on thursday night for my english lit class (i have to write a paper on drama).
i'm retarded, because i should've taken care of this early on. i didn't want to be there, and i didn't want any of that to happen, but i found myself glued to the seat. why???? you ask... beats the shit out of me.
i'm going to have to find a way to let him down easy now...
great...
i feel like a guy..
05:20:07 - 2000-10-30
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